Saying grace.

Right now I am roasting turkey thighs in the oven. At 10:30 in the morning. WTH happened to me? I used to be a high raw vegan!

It's kind of freaking me out.

I guess SIBO happened. It happens to a lot of people, including a lot of people who 'used to be' vegetarian.

I don't BLAME my vegetarian diet for SIBO. But I can see how sustaining myself on high-fiber simple sugars and starches—without sufficient bowel motility to keep things moving along at a respectable clip—contributed to the bacterial overgrowth situation.

It still feels weird to be getting all ravenous on animal flesh. It's important for me to acknowledge that.

I'm not ashamed. My paradigm shifted. I got sick and I want to feel better. I want to regain my vitality and zest, which was the promise of raw foods in the first place. But big raw salads, dried fruits & nuts, 16-ounce green juices, multi-ingredient superfood smoothies—they simply aren't right for me at this time. Just thinking about them makes me bloat.

Going forward, I want to figure out a way to include more living, fresh plant foods in my diet. I really do. But right now is a healing time. Cooked food is easier to digest. That's just the way it is. And FODMAP-free flesh food tops the list.

The best I can do is to feel gratitude for all the animals that gave, and will be giving, their bodies and bones for my healing.

It doesn't seem fair that any creature must die for another to live. Especially not a "higher" level, developed sentient being. But perhaps it is not a question of fair. It is just part of the Planet Earth paradigm. Eat or be eaten. Adapt or perish. Evolve or die.

For me, right now, eating to evolve means bringing animal's bodies into my body. I will do my best to honor the sacrifice of these creatures by remaining conscious of the truth that they were once aware and breathing, just like me. I will do my best to choose only flesh foods from wholesome origins (even though organic/pastured/grass-fed meat and eggs are more expensive) as a sign of respect for the value of animal lives. And I will do my best to pause and say grace, to remember its life and bless the being whose body I am consuming... before, during and after my meals.

Blessed are all creatures of the earth. I humble myself and give thanks for each gift of sacrifice, taken so that I may be healthy. May all beings be happy.